Why an Epstein special investigator is a disastrously stupid idea

A small but influential group of Republican politicians and influencers spent the month calling for Attorney General Pam Bondi to appoint a special counsel to investigate the Jeffrey Epstein case. They say it’s all in the name of transparency and getting answers. But no special counsel will give them satisfaction. They’re falling into the same trap the Grand Old Party fell into eight years ago. And they’ll end up just as disappointed if they get their wish.

The attorney general appoints special counsels in accordance with a 1999 law seeking to rein in earlier “independent counsels.” Over the course of July, Republican Reps. Lauren Boebert (Colo.), Tim Burchett (Tenn.), Eric Burlison (Mo.), Anna Paulina Luna (Fla.), Scott Perry (Penn.), and Nancy Mace (S.C.) all said one is needed. Mace is expected to announce a run for governor of South Carolina later today. Former White House official Steve Bannon and MAGA activist Laura Loomer joined in their calls.

At this stage, the Epstein story has morphed into something more than a theory. It’s a belief system. And like any belief system, it doesn’t bend easily to facts or ambiguity.

Technically, special counsels answer to the attorney general. Theoretically, they can even be fired for exceeding their authority or failing in their duties. In reality, though, it’s difficult to imagine an attorney general firing a special counsel for just about any reason. Famous recent examples include Robert Mueller, appointed by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein after Attorney General Jeff Sessions was tricked into recusing himself from the Russia hoax, and John Durham, appointed by Attorney General Bill Barr.

There’s a key difference between the two. Durham was appointed to investigate political opponents inside the government or recently inside the government who had abused their powers; Mueller for the White House to investigate itself.

We know how Mueller played out. Republicans were tricked by Democrats and their media allies into thinking all they needed was a little “transparency.” What resulted was a years-long witch hunt that failed to make anything better when it was over and only fed into the seemingly unending Russia news cycle.

And why would a special counsel be needed in this case anyway? The whole point of a special counsel is for the administration to investigate itself when it cannot be trusted to do so. In Mueller’s case, the White House wouldn’t have wanted to expose the crimes supposedly committed. In Durham’s case, the Justice Department couldn’t be trusted to investigate its own malfeasance.

Who can’t be trusted here? Jeffrey Epstein is an outside suspect, zero credible evidence exists that President Trump was involved in statutory rape or was blackmailed, and the Justice Department was entirely capable of conducting this investigation. People just didn’t like the answers.

Suppose the administration caves and names a special counsel to quiet the scandal. That move won’t bury the story — it will extend it. The special counsel will operate with near-total independence, and firing that person would trigger a political firestorm that makes the president look guilty. Instead of resolution, the White House would invite a fresh round of headlines and headaches.

What exactly do we expect a new investigation to find? That a secret cabal of international spies really existed — and that neither Pam Bondi, FBI Director Kash Patel, nor Deputy Director Dan Bongino had the authority or means to expose it?

Or maybe the review returns the same disappointing answer the Justice Department gave the first time: no master list of clients. No slam-dunk blackmail evidence. Just a compiled roster of hundreds — possibly thousands — who visited Epstein’s notorious island or crossed paths with him. Many committed no crimes. Others can’t be prosecuted. All risk getting smeared publicly with no way to defend themselves.

The Trump administration’s first misstep came when it raised public expectations. Once that happened, officials had no choice but to present findings. Those findings turned out to be a huge letdown — but realistically, nothing short of declaring, “Jeffrey Epstein ran a blackmail ring with U.S. and Israeli intelligence, was finally arrested for it, and then murdered in prison,” would have satisfied the public.

But what if they couldn’t prove that? What if that isn’t what happened?

At this stage, the Epstein story has morphed into something more than a theory. It’s a belief system. And like any belief system, it doesn’t bend easily to facts or ambiguity. The White House now faces an impossible task: telling true believers that the smoking gun doesn’t exist. A special counsel won’t solve that problem. It might make it worse.

Instead, it would drag this true-crime, high-drama political saga out even further. No special counsel wraps up his investigation in under a year, so while Democrats and their friends in the press have finally seized on an issue that hurts Trump, they’ll get to keep it going far longer.

Appointing a special counsel guarantees one of two outcomes for Republicans: Either they head into the midterms with an open investigation clouding the race, or it wraps just in time to blow up again before Election Day. That’s not transparency — it’s political malpractice. And not the kind committed out of necessity, but to placate a base that won’t accept anything short of perp walks this investigation will never deliver.

Have you heard the one about the Kennedy assassination conspiracy theorist who dies and goes to heaven? God tells him, “You can ask me one question.”

“Who killed President John F. Kennedy?” the man eagerly replies.

“It was Lee Harvey Oswald,” the Lord answers, “and he acted alone.”

“This,” the man responds, “goes higher up than I thought.”

The Epstein case has loomed over Washington for six years — ever since his arrest at a New Jersey airport in July 2019. That’s an eternity in political time and helps explain the obsession with the scandal’s lurid, unresolved details.

But political news cycles move fast. Just 18 months ago, Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis were still warming up for a primary fight against Donald Trump. Joe Biden was coasting in the West Wing. That moment feels like a different era — just as today’s headlines will fade in 18 months.

Unless the White House triggers a special counsel.

That move would freeze the current scandal in amber, hand ammunition to partisan media, and betray the president’s allies — while appeasing no one. We’ve seen this play out before. Let’s not do it again.

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