"I heard a kerosene explosion...BOOM!...freakin' I heard it! Freakin'....I heard the freakin' explosion."
So said an incredibly intoxicated man, speaking to a local Pennsylvania news station, WNEP-TV, during daylight hours about an explosion that set his house on fire. It's not clear what the back story here is--or when this all happened--but if the drunkard is to be believed, a kerosene blast of sorts caused the house to burst into flames.
"An explosion...freakin'...My father said, 'what the hell was that?' Freakin', I see sahh-sahh-sahhh sahhh-moke fff-flying through the wall and I said 'look at, the house is on fire.'...fff-freaking. I knew it! .... I'm freakin' smart. Freakin, I smelled the smoke. My mother smelled it. My father smelled it. And it was a mmmmm-matter of time before that house freakin' went up...annnd I'll tell you why. [long pause.] I'm gonna get ra-racial here. I'm gonna get racial! OK...fff-freakin..." Warning, the intoxicated man, as he says, gets racial about "those people that live next door to us."
(h/t Dan Collins)
I called the WNEP-TV newsroom to get some more details on the story, but the lovely lady I spoke to on the phone there seemed as mystified as we at The Blaze are about what exactly is going on here.
UPDATE: Some of our readers are wondering if the allegedly intoxicated man is actually mentally handicapped and not drunk. But if you listen carefully, the reporter confirms the man's intoxication by saying, "Tommy, you've had a few beers. Is that because you're trying to forget the fire?"