Residents in Blackburn, England, watched in shock as a turf war between Mr. Yummy and Mr. Whippy turned ugly when the former smashed the latter's passenger window with a tire iron.
And now that we've written the greatest sentence of our life, we feel like we can retire:
A showdown between Mohammed Mulla (aka Mr. Whippy) and Zeheer Ramzan (aka Mr. Yummy) was inevitable. The two have been fighting over this particular route for months, according to the Lancashire Telegraph.
“I have been established in Blackburn for 12 years and I am really popular with my customers,” said Mr. Whippy. “Over the last few months, this Mr. Yummy, has been following me around, chiming outside the allotted times and muscling in on my patch.”
“I don’t sell powdered ice cream. We sell nothing but diary ice cream,” he added. “I have complained to the council and the police. Hopefully now people will listen.”
Mr. Yummy defends himself.
“I come all the way from Halifax just to make a living. I have tried to be reasonable and come up with a compromise but Mr. Whippy is having none of it,” he said. “This has been going on for months. Wherever I go in Blackburn he follows me. Surely the town is big enough for us both.”
“On Saturday, I just felt threatened and at the end of my tether. I didn’t mean to smash his window I just tapped it too hard,” he added.
Words were exchanged and then things got heated -- right in front of children who just wanted some ice cream.
“My little sister came out to grab an ice cream and that's when it all just kicked off,” said witness Ahmed Chaka. “One of the ice cream men was saying come and buy it from me, ‘I’ll sell it cheaper’. That’s when the trouble started.”
Another witness recalls the incident.
"I couldn't believe it when Mr. Yummy jumped out of his van and smashed Mr. Whippy's window," said resident John Tighe. Whether he was able to say that with a straight face is unclear.
"You just don't expect that around here," Tighe added.
Police have actually launched an investigation into the hotly-disputed ice cream man turf war.
“We have been made aware of the incident in Palatine Road,” a police spokesman said. “We have now launched an investigation into the incident and an officer will be contacting both parties.”