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Top 10 ways to soothe your significant other after a tragic sports loss

It’s one thing to have your team lose a big game. It’s quite another to have your sports hero almost completely shut out and have all of America reeling from the abysmal performance. It's a deep burn, and here is how you can help a significant other experiencing the pain:

10. Do not - under any circumstances - bring it up. Zip it my friends. This is not a time for sharing feelings. Man or woman, let your sports fanatic ease through the pain in their own time. This kind of loss is too painful for words right now.

9. Put all team memorabilia out of sight. This will help to avoid accidental conversation about the bruised and abused team and reduce opportunities for long, awkward moments of staring in silence and shock.

8. Get rid of the Superbowl party leftovers right now. Eating days-old seven layer dip, chicken wings or brownies will only lead to deeper depression and guilt.

7. Set the alarm clock an extra ten minutes early. It will be on his or her mind the first thing in the morning and it’s the opposite of Christmas morning. It will be the same feeling in the pit of his or her stomach the day they know they have to go to the dentist, and so they might need a few extra minutes to roll out of bed.

6. Hide the paper if you still get one and make extra coffee. Again, groggy, depressed behavior will be normal. Keep calm and bring on the caffeine.

5. There is great potential for mocking and smack talk at the office and you can’t prevent all the pain. But you can pack a healthy lunch with a distracting note offering back rubs and wine or beer when he or she gets home.

4. Do not like any Facebook posts related to the game, in either direction (except, of course, this post). This relates back to No. 10. Avoid conversation about it at all costs. One exception: if the link is about the commercials. Which brings us to…

3. If your mate starts chatting about the game - divert to talk of the half time show or commercials. At least those are some bright spots that will divert attention away from the absolute flogging their team received.

2. If you can’t get them off the game topic, make fun of anything about the broadcast but their team. Joe Namath’s fur coat history is a great place to start.

1. After a day of helpful coaxing, if he or she is still pouting, remind them no matter how bad the Broncos fans feel today, it’s better than how Floyd Mayweather, Jr. is doing. If he really placed that $10.4 Million bet on the Broncos, that is astronomically more suckage than the average fan’s pain.

If none of the kind coaxing works after a full 24 hours, feel free to rip off the emotional band-aid and have him or her embrace the suck. I guarantee the Broncos aren’t going to whine about it - champions just brush off the dust and start the countdown until training camp.

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Follow Elizabeth Kreft (@elizabethakreft) on Twitter.

 

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