What if Jesus didn’t rise from the dead until Easter 2016? Would He be pleased with what we’ve done to His world? I imagine the conversation would go something like this.
Welcome back, Jesus! I’ll do my best to answer Your questions.
Yes, we still have the 10 Commandments, but we don’t talk about them much anymore. In fact, we can’t display them or even pray to You in public schools. In public areas and many businesses, Christmas Day is out and Earth Day is in. You are being erased and Christians all over the world are being beheaded. I don’t know why nobody cares.
No Jesus, the 10th Commandment of not coveting your neighbor’s goods has been abandoned. The government believes all wealth and goods belong to it and it’s their job to redistribute it as they see fit. I think they know what covet means.
Are Your children safe? I hate to tell You this but mothers have assassinated over 55 million babies. Who permits this? The Democratic Party believes unwanted children are better off dead.
Crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth, by Marco Palmezzano, painting circa 1490 (Public domain image via Wikipedia)
Jesus, that’s an excellent point! I don’t know why society doesn’t embrace aborting unwanted Democrats.
The Democratic Party is fanatical on promoting abortions. They even want to require companies to offer employees abortion pills to exterminate unborn babies. The Democrats’ poster child for taxpayer-funded contraception is Sandra Fluke.
No God, I’m not being flip, that is her last name.
Jesus, many people today don’t believe God created the universe? Government teaches that creation was formed by accident, not by God. Evolution has replaced Creationism. People who believe God created the world are considered crazy.
Now that You say that, I don’t remember the last time I heard about an ape turning into a human. Maybe another accident caused evolution to stop evolving? I never thought of that. If apes created mankind, I don’t know why they don’t have framed pictures of apes in schools to honor mankind’s creator? I guess apes don’t photograph well.
Jesus, many believe they, not You, control the weather. A self-proclaimed prophet named Al Gore believes his policies control the climate. I knew it. So we don’t need Smart-coffin cars and beanie copters. It sounds funny when You call someone a moron.
Who’s running our government now? Our president is Barack Obama. Yes, he’s the leader who leaves out the word Creator when he recites the Declaration of Independence and mocks Christians for hanging onto their guns and religion.
You’re right! The Obama administration did require a Catholic university, Georgetown, to cover religious symbols when Obama made a speech there. I did see the picture of Obama's recent photo-op in Cuba standing in front of a huge mural of Che Guevara on the side of a building.
I remember. Che was an atheist and Marxist who defended Castro’s communist regime during the Bay of Pigs Invasion and the Cuban Missile Crisis. Jesus, why would a symbol of You be offensive to America’s Christian president and a mural of Che be acceptable? Yes, it was a rhetorical question.
I hate to inform You that 70 percent of Jews voted for Obama in the 2012 presidential election. I think that’s the same amount of Jews that voted for Barabbas to be released instead of You resulting in Your crucifixion. Of course you know that. Sorry!
Homosexuals and heterosexuals are now equal in marriage. I don’t know why something so different is called the same thing. Recently, the U.S. Supreme Court lead by Justice Anthony Kennedy legalized same-sex marriage. The majority on the Court believe Your definition of marriage is wrong. I agree with You. Kennedy doesn’t know best. The Father knows best.
The Boy Scouts now permit homosexuals to teach young boys what it means to be a man. I don’t know why they think that’s a good idea since homosexuals almost destroyed the Catholic Church. Society needs to shine a spotlight on that reality.
The U.S. military even lifted its ban on bestiality. I’m serious! Stores are now selling designer jeans with four legs. Yes, our moral decay does resemble a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah. I beg of you don’t watch television during Your visit.
Finally God, I want to ask You for one favor. If I die before President Obama and I somehow make it to Heaven, will You please allow me to witness President Obama’s judgment day. I want a front-row seat when he says to God, “You didn’t build that.” I want to see what the full wrath of God really looks like.
Jesus, are You crying or is it raining? No, I’m not a very good swimmer. Why do you ask?
Tom Wurtz is a conservative writer from Kentucky. Contact Tom at firstname.lastname@example.org.