A Los Angeles company says people should buy its germ-infected tissues so they can boost their immune systems.
This must be a joke, right?
KCNC-TV in Denver doesn't think so. The news outlet offered a somewhat tongue-in-cheek review of the product that came with a warning from its practicing physician and medical editor, Dr. Dave Hnida.
What is the logic?
The company, Vaev, suggests that using its infected tissues will allow you to "make yourself sick, on purpose, at a time when it's convenient for you to be under the weather," KCNC reporter Matt Yurus said. "For example, say you have a vacation coming up. Maybe you can just get your illness out of the way and then travel without the worry of getting sick."
The "about" section on VaevTissue's website offers little information:
Once upon a time, a Dane with a cold and a dream grew tired of needles and pills. In 2017, Vaev was born in Copenhagen, and now the world's boldest tissue company is setting up in Los Angeles, CA.
We believe that when flu season comes around, you should be able to get sick on your terms. We're not about chemicals or prescription drugs here at Væv. We believe using a tissue that carries a human sneeze is safer than needles or pills. This isn't like any tissue you've used before, but we love using them, and you will too.
- Oliver & The Vaev Team
According to the website, the tissues "contain and absorb colloid buildup, salts, antiseptic enzymes, immunoglobulins, and glycoproteins such as lactoferrin and mucins, produced by goblet cells in the mucous membranes and submucosal glands."
That description is apparently convincing because the company claims it has sold out of the tissues, which sell for $79.99 a piece.
What about refunds?
No word if refunds are available if the product fails to make you sick, or if there's any liability if the tissue makes you extremely ill — with pneumonia or bronchitis, for example.
The report went on to note that using the product might keep the user from getting a cold later. Medically speaking, there are "more than 200 different viruses that can cause a common cold. And that's not taking into account other bugs that cause things like flu."
KCNC continued, "Think about it. The reason we don't have a cure or vaccine for the common cold is that there are just too many of them, and they keep on changing."
As justification for the product, a video for VaevTissue argues that since we tear our muscles to become stronger, and dancers can fall while they're learning how to dance, why should the immune system be any different?