Allie Beth Stuckey on the birth plan trap: ‘You can’t redeem’ a traumatic birth experience

For a mom whose first birth was traumatic, preparing for another delivery can become about much more than bringing a baby into the world.

And one woman is asking BlazeTV host Allie Beth Stuckey how to pursue a vaginal birth after a C-section while resisting the temptation to view it as a chance to redeem her first birth experience.

Stuckey, who has gone through two C-sections before a successful VBAC, knows firsthand how complex and emotional it can be.

“I had two C-sections and then I had a VBAC,” Stuckey, who is over halfway through her fourth pregnancy, answers, noting that she did not expect her first or second C-section, only one of which was “necessary.”

Stuckey’s first C-section was “unnecessary,” as her doctor was “too C-section-happy” and didn’t like the idea of her going over 40 weeks in her pregnancy.

“I don’t think all C-sections are unnecessary,” she explains. “I’m not that kind of person that’s like, ‘Every single time your body always knows what to do, and natural is always better.'”

“No, I believe that modern medicine can be a wonderful gift of common grace and it can be absolutely lifesaving,” she continues, pointing out that before the C-section, she was “pressured" into an induction.

“My body was not ready to give birth. And so I tried to induce, and it just didn’t work. My body was not ready; baby was not ready,” she explains.

“It’s very stressful, and it’s such a whirlwind, and you’re already so vulnerable. You don’t yet, most of the time, when you’re a first-time mom, know how to advocate for yourself,” she continues. “You’re trusting this doctor and these nurses that you’ve gotten to know."

“You think you’re making the best decision as a mom when they say things like stillbirth and all of that, which wasn’t actually on the table for us. That wasn’t something that was about to happen,” she adds.

After the C-section, she explains, is the “worst part.”

“Even though you can’t feel much, there is something that is so painful about this. You have a nurse who comes and presses on your stomach as hard as possible,” she says.

“I was so emotional, maybe postpartum-depressed after my first. It was really, really tough, and so I knew that I didn’t want that again. I wanted a VBAC for my second birth. I did all of the things. I listened to all the podcasts. I did all of the different exercises and classes and everything that you’re supposed to do,” she continues.

“And I just wanted so bad to redeem the first birth,” she adds.

But that’s not how it panned out, and Stuckey ended up getting another C-section.

“I think it’s important just not to have the expectation that God is going to use this VBAC to redeem something of the past,” she says. “That might not be what he uses to redeem your past traumatic birth. He might use something totally different.”

“So how he wants to heal,” she continues, “how he wants to redeem, is totally up to him.”

“I think that is how we let go of the idolatry of birth,” she adds.

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