Hilarious alternative headline, via Hot Air's Ed Morrissey: "Celebrated redistributionists discover healthy respect for private property"
The NY Post reports:
Occupy Wall Street protesters said yesterday that packs of brazen crooks within their ranks have been robbing their fellow demonstrators blind, making off with pricey cameras, phones and laptops -- and even a hefty bundle of donated cash and food.
“Stealing is our biggest problem at the moment,” said Nan Terrie, 18, a kitchen and legal-team volunteer from Fort Lauderdale.
Time out -- None of these "occupiers" pauses to wonder how an 18-year-old kid is advising them on legal matters?
Ok, time in:
“I had my Mac stolen -- that was like $5,500. Every night, something else is gone. Last night, our entire [kitchen] budget for the day was stolen, so the first thing I had to do was . . . get the message out to our supporters that we needed food!”
Crafty cat burglars sneaked into the makeshift kitchen at Zuccotti Park overnight and swiped as much as $2,500 in donated greenbacks from right under the noses of volunteers who’d fallen asleep after a long day whipping up meals for the hundreds of hungry protesters, the volunteers said.
“The worst thing is there’s people sleeping in the kitchen when they come, and they don’t even know about it! There are some really smart and sneaky thieves here,” Terrie said.
If only there were a safe place where people could keep their money! Even better, imagine if that safe place could use that money to invest in businesses, help people buy homes or even pay out interest on the deposit... Hmm.