FALLING STARS: Hollywood woke-erati on the outs as Skydance soars

She’s no Dolly.

Now, it must be tough to live in the shadow of a beloved icon like Dolly Parton. Still, kid sister Stella Parton is working hard to stand out — in all the wrong ways.

The New York Times wasn’t happy about David’s handiwork. You can’t do satire that impacts ... us!

She’s always been more partisan than the country music legend. Fine. That’s a choice. A less responsible choice? Wishing death on an entrepreneur because you don’t like his politics.

The younger Parton just wished death on Elon Musk and hoped he would be eaten by worms sooner than later. Oh, and she says Musk will rig the midterm elections.

We always did wonder who inspired her big sister's breakout hit ...

Taika break

Remember when director Taika Waititi was a thing?

The New Zealand cutup gave us “The Hunt for the Wilderpeople” and the amazing “Jojo Rabbit.” Even his “Thor: Ragnarok” made us smile. Then, it all went downhill for the wacky auteur.

The less said about “Thor: Love and Thunder,” the better. His fact-based soccer comedy “Next Goal Wins” flopped with critics and audiences. His attempt to modernize the classic ‘80s fantasy “Time Bandits” crashed after one woke season.

Little people couldn’t apply, and it showed.

Now, his latest project is getting skewered before its release. “Klara and the Sun” stars “It” actress Jenna Ortega of “Wednesday” fame. The film sports a blistering 27% “rotten” score at Rotten Tomatoes.

The film’s modest release pattern just got cut in half. The rascally Critical Drinker devoted a “Crash and Burn” episode to the fading auteur last year. Looks like he might have material for a whole new installment ...

Let's get small

Is Sacha Baron Cohen auditioning for an “Incredible Shrinking Man” reboot?

2006's “Borat" gave the British funnyman "great success" — one he's been trying to recapture ever since. Sure, he’s aligned with Quentin Tarantino for the director’s upcoming play, but Cohen’s Midas touch disappeared a while ago.

This weekend, his new comedy “Ali G: Who Iz I?” debuts in a few hundred theaters. That wasn’t the original release plan, but the film’s footprint keeps on shrinking.

The film will only be in select theaters one weekend too, even if the film performs well. That’s unlikely.

So what happened? Cohen went woke, raged against free speech, and turned his signature characters into anti-Trump vehicles. Cohen was already exhibiting signs of TDS in “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm,” the depressing sequel to one of Hollywood’s most outrageous comedies.

Not "very nice!"

'Curb' your socialism

Talk about a thin skin.

The New York Times reported on Larry David’s new Air Mail satirical column. David’s target? The Democratic Socialists of America. David is a loud and proud liberal, but even he understands the mania lurking not too far beneath the DSA surface.

And he called it out, including the group’s uneasiness with Jewish people. That’s being delicate. David isn’t. The column finds the DSA renaming them the Bagel People and shipping them out of Israel.

The New York Times wasn’t happy about David’s handiwork. You can’t do satire that impacts ... us! So it created a “blowback”-style description suggesting the column drew a large, negative response. Except it had no tangible proof of that, so the Old Gray Lady found a few angry social media users posting about the column and gave them all the gravitas of a retired war general.

The newspaper even sought a few of them out to extrapolate on their rage with modest results, at best.

The Times desperately wanted to attack David for mocking its beloved DSA. And it bent Journalism 101 to do it. To be fair, that’s pretty on brand for the newspaper in 2026 ...

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Lou Rocco/Tom Williams/Getty Images

Merger meltdown

And you thought the left and the media (but we repeat ourselves) loathed Elon Musk already. Now, the tech trillionaire is investing in Skydance to the tune of $1 billion. And that number might grow in the coming weeks.

Skydance has become a Hollywood behemoth with remarkable speed. David Ellison’s original Skydance Media merged with Paramount Global last year, creating Paramount Skydance. This month, that company swallowed Warner Bros. Discovery and renamed the whole operation Skydance. The result puts Paramount Pictures, Warner Bros., CBS, CNN, HBO, and two major streaming services under one roof.

And the Ellisons aren’t exactly your standard Antifa-adjacent Hollywood studio clan. Which raises an intriguing possibility: One of the biggest entertainment companies in America may actually make room for the half of the country Hollywood Inc. has spent years ignoring.

Or at the very least, it could finally drive Mark Ruffalo completely around the bend.