Conan O'Brien Warns Dartmouth Grads: Only People Hiring Right Now -- 'Panera Bread and Mexican Drug Cartels'

Conan O'Brien combined levity with words of wisdom during his commencement speech to Dartmouth's 2011 graduating class Sunday.  Referring to the Ivy League school as Harvard and Yale's cool, "sexually confident" younger brother, the Harvard alumnus joked that had he attended Dartmouth, he would have received his honorary degree from Harvard.

O'Brien praised the graduating class on working their entire lives for this "one moment."

You have achieved something special. Something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know - a college diploma. With a college diploma, you now have a crushing advantage over eight percent of the workforce. I'm talking about losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg.

But O'Brien also had some cautionary words for graduates' parents, stating:

"If your kids majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.  The only place they are now really qualified to get a job is ancient Greece."

(H/T Huffington Post)