Louisiana man Michael Auttonberry called the police Wednesday to report that he'd been attacked with an axe and had been stabbed in the head.
According to KNOE-TV, he also told authorities that there were intruders in his home.
What are the details?
When police arrived at Auttonberry's home, they likely expected to come face-to-face with a grisly scene. Instead, they met an irritated Auttonberry, who had been neither attacked with an axe nor stabbed in the head.
In fact, police couldn't even find any intruders in the West Monroe man's home, despite Auttonberry swearing at people who, according to police were "obviously not there."
They did, however, find a bag of meth on Auttonberry's nightstand and a gram of meth on Auttonberry's person.
Auttonberry, who reportedly became increasingly irritated, had to be placed in handcuffs.
When confronted by police about the illegal drugs, Auttonberry blamed it on a spirit, saying that a ghost had planted the drugs in his bedroom. He also said it was possible that the alleged intruders could have left the drugs there, as well.
The Quachita Parish Sheriff's Department arrested Auttonberry, 59, for giving a false police report as well as drug possession.