Peering into the crystal ball for 2024

Well, looks like we made it. Can the same be said for 2024? Here are my predictions for the coming 12 months, in descending order.

10) 'Despicable Me 4' will be the highest-grossing movie of the year at the box office.

Given how turbulent things are in Hollywood at the moment, including the Disney/Pixar brand now so tarnished that not even a forthcoming sequel to its 2015 smash “Inside Out” seems like a sure thing nowadays, this was the most difficult call I’ve ever made in this perennial prediction. So when in doubt, why not go back to the most successful franchise (other than “Jurassic Park”)in Universal Studios history, which is also releasing over the lucrative Independence Day weekend? Not to mention, I love these movies myself, the tie goes to my personal preference.

9) The Eagles and Chiefs will collide once more in a rare Super Bowl rematch.

This was my pre-season prediction. With both teams in the playoffs, the Dude Code demands I must stick with this until I am proven wrong. Which, given the way both teams are playing right now, I likely will be. By the way, the last time we had a Super Bowl rematch was 30 years ago with the Buffalo Bills and Dallas Cowboys battling back-to-back.

8) The left will find a way to convict Donald Trump of literally anything.

At this point, I’ve given up following the smorgasbord of court proceedings the left has initiated against the former president, with the exception of the January 6 case in front of the Washington, D.C., star chamber. I’ve always believed that one is the most perilous for Trump. But even if that case should somehow fall through, the Jack Smiths and Letitia Jameses of the world are legion. There is no way they will spend all of that time, energy, and money to let this year go by without being able to designate Trump a convicted felon.

7) For the first time, 30% of Americans in their 40s will never marry.

In 2023, the number climbed to just over 25%, the highest in American history. Unfortunately, I see no way for the trend to slow down. We have the lowest marriage and birth rates in American history for a reason. We made it OK for boys who can shave never to launch and become men. That’s why, for the first time ever, a 25-year-old male is more likely to be living with a parent in their home than in his own home with a wife. We also betrayed women by telling them to put off marriage because they could “have it all.” Now they’re unable to find a man worthy of them, given the dearth of men overall. This is “Death of the West” stuff.

6) A public figure will come forward to claim he was abducted by extraterrestrials and/or communicated with them.

The UFO psyop just hasn’t generated the heat the Spirit of the Age had hoped. The system has come forward with headlines that would’ve stopped the earth turning on its axis back in the day but has largely elicited yawns and eye rolls. Thus, the ante must be upped. Americans love their celebrity worship. So don’t be surprised when it’s the next card to be played. Who knows? Maybe next fall NFL star Travis Kelce will pull off his next heel turn? In 2023, Kelce told us to “trust Pfizer.” Perhaps in 2024, he will assure us that “they come in peace.”

5) The regime will artificially inseminate the economy.

To quote the Avengers: “Whatever it takes.” From miraculous interest rate drops to every incentive imaginable to get the housing market going again, expect the Spirit of the Age to pump as much sunshine as possible into the economy between now and Election Day to get the desired result. Maybe Joe Biden will get his wish and cancel all that student loan debt, too? Regardless of who wins, the check will come due in 2025 — either to saddle a new Republican president with a recession right out of the gate or to permit the Democrat to “never let a crisis go to waste.”

4) Expect post-election violence no matter who wins.

There are simply too many variables for me to sit here today and predict who the nominees will be, let alone the result of the next election. “Muh polls” tell us, for example, it is a fait accompli that the election will be a contest between a near-octogenarian with 91 felony indictments versus an even nearer-octogenarian whose IQ is about 91 right now. So, how can you make long-term predictions involving events when two of the primary drivers are challenging the average American life expectancy?

The same polls tell us that 70% of Americans don’t want this supposedly inevitable rematch. You make sense of that because I can’t. But what does make sense to me is we had violence after the 2016 election and violence before the 2020 election. Unlike guessing the top-grossing motion picture of 2024, this is the easiest prediction in the world.

3) Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in 2024 beats Ross Perot’s popular vote count in 1992.

In 1992, the “little hand grenade with a bad haircut” may have won the presidency as an independent candidate if he truly wanted it. The late Ross Perot mysteriously dropped out of the race just as he began to take the lead that summer. He then just as mysteriously re-entered the race in the final month of the campaign and won 19% of the popular vote — the modern record for an independent candidate.

Frustration with the Republican-Democrat duopoly has only grown in the intervening 32 years, and we have seen numerous tumultuous political swings back and forth as a result. Enter Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who has both a powerful namesake as well as a unique coalition he can draw from both the dissident right and left. That’s why I believe he will surpass 19% of the popular vote this year.

2) The invasion at the southern border will lead to a 'Black Swan' event.

A “Black Swan” event has severe and paradigm-shifting consequences, which, in hindsight, everyone should have seen coming despite claims to the contrary. You simply cannot allow such a massive influx of strangers to pour over your borders without drastic consequences. All it takes is a few bad apples in the batch — as we learned on September 11, 2001. And when the laws of sowing and reaping tragically prove undefeated again this year, the same system that claimed the unfolding disaster wasn’t unfolding all this time will claim it could have been prevented.

1) Idolatry is the leading cultural trend that will go viral and become systemic.

Whether we’re a nation under Romans 1 judgment or God is preparing the way for a revival, I do not know. What I do know is that when a culture turns its collective backs on the First Commandment (only God is God), it will do the same to the Second Commandment (don’t make your own gods, otherwise known as “idolatry”).

One of the clearest signs of this will be the continued rise of the godless right to take on the godless left. That means even in an election year, when the differences between the two sides have rarely been as stark as they are now, Christians will find themselves out of place throughout the year with movements and manifestations of their “own team.” Pray for God’s mercy.