Like “The Onion” but Islamist and not satirical

A little over a week ago a mob of Islamists attacked a Coptic Christian church in Egypt, leaving 13 dead. According to the story:

The unrest began Saturday night in the Imbaba district northwest of Cairo, as a mob of hard-line Muslims attacked the Virgin Mary church. A separate group of youths also attacked an apartment building several blocks away, residents said.

The assaults were the latest agitation triggered by allegations that Copts have held women against their will because they intended to convert to Islam.

Now the unintentional humorists over at the UK-based Hizb ut-Tahir (Liberation Party) have penned a delightful piece titled "Egypt's Copts need the Caliphate" in which they argue that the Copts would be protected from all this nonsense if only they lived in a Caliphate under sharia law.

Seems a bit of a stretch of course. However, they lay down some great arguments like this one:

Egypt is already a secular state where religious political parties are banned and those calling for the implementation of Islamic law (sharia) in society (Islamists) are heavily persecuted. Copts in Egypt do face oppression but so do Muslims and the cause is not sharia but the absence of sharia in Egyptian society.

See! The problem isn't the Islamism! It's that the Islamism hasn't succeeded in making Egypt an Islamist state. Yet. Once they convince all the Egyptians who don't want to live in an Islamic state, everything will be hunky-dory. Best of all, the Copts will finally be free from mobs trying to kill them based on rumors:

Non-Muslim citizens living in a Caliphate have an honourable status and are referred to as dhimmi (people of contract). Their places of worship, lives and property are protected and they are not persecuted for their beliefs.

So quit your belly-aching, Coptic Christians, and start demanding sharia.

Or else.