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Op-ed

The GOP sold out to the gay agenda long ago. Now they're paying a price for it.

Bake the cake, bigot

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Come one, come all! I may even take up a lung dart for this one to help me chill-ax afterwards, because there's sweet justice and then there is this Amazing Grace from a whole different astral plane.

To follow up its historically preposterous seven-hour climate change town hall (that you were right not to watch a single minute of), CNN is doubling down on progressive electoral madness to host a similar town hall on issues pertaining to which bathroom to use.

And you need to watch all of it.

Yes you, especially you, the pastors and politicians from the Magic R smart set who for years told me that I needed to tone down my cautionary message about the "love is love" slippery slope we were on. You need to understand how politics works, they said. It will never come to all that, they said. Stay in your lane, they said.

Well, on Oct. 10, Democrat presidential candidates will proudly and forcefully get their drag queen story hour on and tell the country that it's time to bake the cake, bigot, or else.

Nice triangulation you got there, Team GOP. Now why don't you go and choke on it, you gutless sellouts.

Too harsh? Nah. Because I think God is in on this knee-slapper, too. You may have heard that He will not be mocked, yet that's just what most of the big-shot Republicans have been trying to do for decades as they crafted their nifty big tent. So now, finally, comes daddy taking his belt off in the form of some cosmic trolling that only He could perfectly time.

For in the very same week that the pagan free-for-all, er, I mean October town hall was announced, a study was also published that makes clear one of the great progressive scams that countless GOP hacks fell for over the years is in fact validated — by science no less — to be the total lie people like me said it was all along.

No one is born that way.

Turns out environment is twice as influential as genetics on the probability of homosexual behavior and that the genetic influence is not remotely specific to homosexual behavior but to risk-taking behavior in general.

The results of the study were so troubling to some of its sponsors — some of whom were in fact gay themselves — that they sought to suppress it, according to reporting by Life Site News. Oh, yes indeed, God will not be mocked. He's calling everyone to account on this one. The Democrats for staring into the face of their sacred Science!!!! and casting it into the same "you will be made to care" pit as everything else that doesn't agree with their ultimate mission of totally rewriting reality itself.

And the Republicans for believing they could tame such a foul beast if only they were nice enough. May those idols they kept shining all these years until the god they saw in the reflection was their own image now hang like a millstone around their necks.

Look what you damn fools have helped do while I go laughing all the way to pop some popcorn and watch the October presidential farce that testifies to your total and endless failure as an alternative to the chaos. Especially because despite your niceties and betrayals of people like me, you're going to be hated and called a bigot by those possessing the rings you kissed nevertheless. Congratulations — you have received your reward in full.

Choke on it.

One last thing…
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