If you even clicked on headline connecting to this link you are already in trouble. It's Valentines Day and "you got nuttin'"
Well, Bunky, The Blaze is here to help.
The webpage from The Bronx Zoo in NYC has the answer for your quirky self. Give her/him a hissing Madagascar Cockroach!
As seen on Survivor, Fear Factor and countless NatGeo programs, these bad boys are available in great numbers and a bargain at just $10!
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
We'll send a truly memorable certificate of honor to that certain someone explaining that there's a special insect living at the Bronx Zoo with his or her name on it.
And if you've been searching for the perfect way to express your commitment phobia, nothing says,"We should talk about where this is going" like the gift of an exotic and noisy insect.
You are most welcome.